My girlfriend last Christmas 

Thankful

As my imood says, I'm feeling especially blessed right now. I'm thankful for all God's blessings, from a place to stay and a job to my awesome girlfriend who I'll be seeing soon. God is so good. I want to grow closer to Him every day. I want to become more like Him and show His goodness to everyone around me. I want Him to change me into what He wants me to be. I am unafraid to go anywhere or do anything that He wants for me, becuase I know that He will be with me and will give me the ability to do it. My girlfriend and I both want to be missionaries. But whether that ever happens or not, I can't wait to see what God has planned for us!

My beautiful girlfriend

Work, etc.

I have found work at a bookstore here in town, and I'm really enjoying that. I'll be working here until sometime in July, and then I'm headed for Mexico, where I hopefully will start teaching English this fall. As I mentioned to a friend tonight, I've never had a permanent residence outside the US before. I can't wait to see my girlfriend. I'm uploading a pic, for all of you who have expressed such great curiosity.

Going to Mexico isn't exactly the most popular thing with my family, since they may not see me for some time, but going there fits my plans both personally and professionally, and they know that.

News and job

I just graduated with a BA in English and Religion. Now I'm looking for work in Keene and online. I signed up as a freelancer with an online thing that brings freelancers and buyers together. I finally won a bid a few days ago, and now I need to come up with 1000 original pickup lines (3-10 words) by this Saturday. I've worked on it for just over an hour, and I have about 80, so as you can see, it is taking me forever. If anyone would like to help, feel free to send me what you can come up with. Remember, it must be original. If it is something you've heard before, they likely already have it.

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I haven't time to say much, but I wanted to tell everyone that I am under more stress than I ever have before. I am almost falling apart from stress. These papers and other things are killing me. Please pray for me. I need it.

Busy Life

I cannot believe how fast this semester has gone. I just got back from spring break. I went to Mexico on a mission trip, where we had 6 evangelistic series, with VBS (Vacation Bible School) at each, built churches, painted others, had English classes (which I unfortunately was unable to participate in this year, because I had other priorities), and had a wonderful time. For me, the best part was the fact that my girlfriend came up from southern Mexico to see me. She was able to be a part of the group and worked with us the whole week. We were practically inseparable. What bliss, after almost five months of no closer contact than phone calls, email, MSN Messenger (with webcam for part of the time), and a few letters! To be actually face to face with the woman I love! It was truly a dream come true. I spent a lot of time translating for her, since she speaks almost no English and most of the group spoke only English, plus the worships and stuff were all in English. All our conversations were in Spanish, and I got the chance to meet her uncle and aunt and two cousins who live nearby. That was awesome. And I even got a few minutes on the phone with her mom who lives in Peru. I couldn't hear very well and sort of bumbled along, but I was very nervous, so I must have sounded like I didn't know much Spanish, though after this trip my Spanish (which was fairly good before) is much better. The preacher at the site where we were was very good. Even though my Spanish isn't perfect, I could understand everything he said. It was a very simple message, but very powerful, with lots of illustrations, especially from his own life. I could say a whole lot more about all that, but I'd better move on to other topics.

Now that I'm back here at school, I miss my girlfriend far more than I missed her before the trip, which is mainly because I feel so much closer to her now. We are very much in love. I got back from the trip last night at 7 PM or so, and we have already communicated twice: once by phone last night, and once by Messenger today. But since she will be traveling back to southern Mexico soon, she won't be able to contact me until Wednesday night, which will be our five-month anniversary. And a great five months they have been, despite the distance.

As far as school assignments, I didn't get anything done during the trip except a little bit for like an hour on the way back. So my stress level (which went from very high before the trip to very low during the trip) is creeping back up again, but slowly. If I can get my honors thesis done, that will be a big relief, and everything else will be doable. The Lord is good.

As far as future plans go, I must finish this, my last semester of school, before I can see her again. If I can find a way to get my loans paid off quickly, I'll head straight to Mexico to find a job near her, hopefully teaching. This summer she will be starting her master's program at a school fairly near the US border, so if I must work during the summer here in the US (since money in Mexico is worth so much less, I probably couldn't pay my loans if I tried to find work there first), if I can get a job down near the border, I may be able to visit her a few times. Then when this summer's over, if I must continue to work here, hopefully we can get her a work visa to come to the US, so she can be here. Neither of us believe in premarital cohabitation, which harmonizes with our ideas on the immorality of premarital sex, but to live near each other and see each other every day is the plan. One way or another, we want to be together, and it doesn't matter to either of us whether that is in Mexico or the US.

Even though we are definitely in love, we don't want to rush into anything blindly. For that reason, we want to spend some time (maybe a year) in the same location before making any greater commitment. Sure, you can learn a lot about a person by email, etc., but there are many things that you can only learn by being around that person. We want to know those things beforehand.

Of the several gifts my girlfriend gave me, my favorites are a film canister with a little of her perfume in it (I gave her some of my after shave, too) and a green, star-shaped pillow with Tigger asleep on it and the phrase "Sueña Conmigo". That means "Dream with me." She also sprayed some of her perfume on that too, so when I went to bed last night, I could smell her scent all night long. I know I'm sappy and sentimental, but I'm a hopeless romantic: It's who I am. Besides, that's the way my girlfriend likes me, so that's the way I'll stay.

Hopefully, I'll be able to put more info on here soon. May God bless you.

Potentially changing plans

The night that I was able to call my girlfriend we talked for quite a while, and we came up with an alternative plan to my going to Mexico after I graduate, because of the finances issue. Even though the other is still a possibility, a more likely plan is that she will come here to the States to be with me, and I will work here, where I won't have to worry so much about being able to make payments. We are praying about the ultimate decision, which is in the Lord's hands, but the latter seems like a better idea at this point.

Thoughts on God

Here is a slightly modified excerpt of a recent email to a close friend of mine, but it applies to everyone:

It is vitally important to have God as the center of your life and also your relationship. When that is right, the other things may not be perfect, but they tend to be better and you can handle them better (because you have the right attitude about them and have your priorities straight). Remember, Christ would have come to earth and died on the cross even if you were the only one who would be saved by that action. Your true value has no relation to your abilities or deficiencies, your victories or failures, others' opinions of you, not even your opinion of yourself. You are a valuable person because God says so. What He says goes because not only did He create you, but He wrote His love and value for you in His own blood on the cross. He died to save you, and all you can do to thank Him is to constantly seek to be closer to Him and more like Him, which is something that He wants anyway! :D Isn't God amazing? He has already take the first step, and even several more steps, on His way toward us. He has done everything that could be done for us without removing our personal freedom. And he is EAGERLY waiting for us to make the slightest move His direction so He can save us. Just as the Holy Spirit takes our small prayers and transforms them into something more before the throne, so God is waiting for us to do anything that He can transform and take as an excuse to save us. I don't even think that He is patient about it! I think God is waiting *impatiently*! That is not to say that he is angry or upset about the wait, but simply that he can't WAIT for us to come to Him. We don't even need to reach out to grasp His hand. He will seize on the very IMPULSE to call on Him. And the more we open ourselves to His influence, the more we remember that this world is not our home and focus on the heavenly things rather than the earthly, the more we turn our eyes upon Jesus and the things of this world grow strangely dim, the more time we spend in the Word; the stronger His presence will be felt in our lives, the more amazingly He can use us, and the clearer His will for us will be.

Events

So many things have happened since my last blog, but most of them in the last couple of weeks. This semester I have taken another on-campus job: ESL tutoring. Because after I graduate I plan to work in Mexico teaching English for 1-3 years, it seemed particularly appropriate that I get some extra experience doing that before I go. I'll be working in that job about 16 hours/week, in my regular English tutorial about 4 hours/week, fitting in as many appointments as I can in my independent tutoring, and also doing freelance work online, mostly proofreading.

The main reason I am doing all this work is because I am going to work in Mexico, and I want as few loans as possible, since I probably will not be making very much money down there and will have a hard time making payments as it is. If I can pay off my bank loan before I go, that will leave only my two Stafford loans, which I've only been getting this year.

I'm finally registered. I was a bit stressed when I came to finances and realized that I would need $2300 I didn't have just to register. But I talked to my brother and a good friend, got a few private loans, and I've been able to cover that, plus I will not have to pay back those loans until I can, with no interest, of course. So I did register late, but still early enough for it not to matter. Plus all my classes are 400-level, so I was sure I wouldn't have to worry about them being too full.

Speaking of classes, I have fewer hours this semester than usual (about 14), but it is going to be a hard semester academically. I have three upper-division English classes (essays galore), one upper-division religion class (which I need my Greek for, and for which I must write 8 sermons), and I have to write my Honors thesis and present it. Lots of reading, and lots of writing. Add to that my work schedule, and you can see that it is going to be a hard semester. Pray for me.

There are a couple of things I am excited about, though. I will once again be in the play this year. I am not the hero this time, but I am still a major character. I am Leonato from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. I am very excited about that. But the best thing that will happen this semester (possibly excepting graduation) will be during Spring Break, when I go on the mission trip to Mexico that I went on last year. We are going to a different city this time, but we will again be building a church, holding evangelistic meetings, inviting people in the streets, and having VBS. I'm guessing that once again I will be the unofficial song leader at our worships as a group. That was so much fun. The main difference for me this time will be the fact that my girlfriend will be coming up from Southern Mexico to see me! I'm so excited about that. I can't wait to see her. I haven't seen her since last summer, which was before we started dating. I miss her so much.

I was very excited when I received my Christmas present from her, but she didn't let me see all of it. I had to get out certain things without seeing the rest until she tells me I can. But one of the things I got out had $25 in it so that I could buy a phone card to call her! Isn't she awesome? And I'm going to call her tonight. :D

I hope you have as great an evening as I'm going to have.

Christmas Break

That phrase is a beautiful one, isn't it? This is the first break that my parents have decided to come visit me (and my older brother's family, who now live down here) rather than the other way around. They just got there yesterday, and my brother is going to pick me up today. Then I'll spend about a week up there, and return the day after Christmas to start working for a little extra money.

Yesterday my roommate and another friend and I played one of his games on his new PS2 most of the day. That was fun. But this morning we had to be up by five or so to take him to the airport, which is the main reason I put off going to my brother's until now.

Unfortunately, because my lady works at a school down there in Mexico, and they close up most things during break, she doesn't have access to the library where she would normally have internet access, so she either has to go to town to get ahold of me or just call me, which is expensive. This means that our communication has become much less frequent. The days drag on. I miss her. :.( Yet another reason I can't wait for school to start again.

Hope all is well with you! Merry Christmas!

Drama (No, it's a good thing!)

I forgot to mention that last week we had tryouts for next semester's play. This year, we are putting on a production of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. Last year, we did his As You Like It, and it was a very professional performance. I had the privilege of being the lead male role, Orlando. The roles are already assigned for this year, and I am Leonato. I'm not the lead male role, but I am a major character. I'm supposed to be an older man, the father of a girl named Hero. I don't know how they're going to pull that off. :-) I also have as my brother Antonio the same guy who was my brother in the last play. We do look a little bit alike, but I didn't expect to be paired with him again. Not that it's a bad thing. I'm so excited about the play! I've missed it since last year.

Some news, both bad and good

Somehow this semester seems to be centered around the amount of sleep I get at night. I seem to be ready to do absolutely anything to stay up just a little later, and then the next day I can't get up at the time I want, or only while looking like a zombie. Case in point: Thursday night, I stayed up almost all night, partly helping my roommate with a project (at least I think it was Thursday...all the days sort of run together when you do this....) and partly doing email stuff, etc. I set my alarm to wake me in time to get ready for class, but I didn't go. I don't remember what happened, but my roommate tells me that I slept right through it, so he came over and tried to wake me up. I got up and walked over to my clock and turned it off, and then just stood there glaring. He decided I didn't want to be awakened, so he didn't stop me when I went over and jumped back in bed. I only really woke up at 10:30, realized that I had missed both my classes that day, and went back to bed. When an old friend called at 2:30, I was at the phone before the second or third ring, as always. For some reason, the phone *always* gets me up. Sometimes I'm not awake, but I'm always at least up. I wasn't completely awake when he introduced himself, but about the second or third sentence, I was. We talked for about ten or fifteen minutes, but he was worried that he'd awakened me (which was my own dumb fault for staying up late!) so we got off the phone and I went back to bed. Finally, I woke up at around 5:15 or so, and went to supper. Except for missing the classes, I felt great! Sleeping about 12/13 hours will do that. So that's just one example. I hate it. Until this semester, I may have had trouble getting to bed at a decent hour, but nothing like this! I am a morning person, and I love to be on time to class. Maybe it's senioritis, but whatever it is, it stinks!

Aside from that, I have worries about classes (as a direct result), worries about two papers in English classes (due this week, W and F), worries about finances, and worries about my Honors thesis, which I haven't really worked on all semester (don't read that, Dr. D.!). It isn't due to be finished until next semester, but this semester was a major part of the time I was supposed to be doing research.

On a MUCH lighter note, last night, Honors took a group of us to see The Nutcracker in Bass Performance Hall in Ft. Worth. I saw it live once before, about three years ago. It was a great performance. I was impressed all over again. It is such a great fairy tale. It occurred to me while I was watching it that while perhaps most girls (just a guess) dream of being the center of a fairy tale like that, many probably don't realize that there are a few of us guys that dream of being the hero in just such a fairy tale. All the way to Bass from school, we (the people in the car I was riding in) talked about significant others, as well as accidents we'd been in and traffic tickets we'd received, and because of one big backup due to an accident, we barely made it to the performance on time. After the performance, we decided to go to Barnes & Noble for a little while. I spent my time in the "Fiction and Literature" section, of course. I am worried about finances, but sometimes you still have to indulge yourself a little, so I bought one classic novel, Edith Wharton's The Age of Innocence for about five bucks. All the way back, we talked about classic literature and things like that, and had a lot of fun. The ride seemed much shorter, and we felt like better friends by the time we dropped one off and drove back to the parking spaces by one dorm where the rest of us could get out. Two great things in one night! Even when life isn't going your way, things are still good.

Now I'd best rush off to lunch, before I miss that, too! As the Peruvians (among others) say, chau!

Miscellaneous events

Searching for a title that would be a bit novel, I considered, "Welcome to the Expion News Network: all Expion, all the time!" but I decided that that would be a bit much.

Thursday I had a podiatrist appointment, because I have been having trouble with an ingrown toenail for about six months (while using various measures to cure it), and he decided to do the surgery right then and there. I'll have to see him in about a month, but it was nice to be really doing something about it. I thought I was missing class, because it took long enough, but I had forgotten that the teacher had cancelled it already. Then I let my other teacher and my boss at work know that I wouldn't be making it and why (I had to keep my foot elevated), and had my roommate post a sign on the door to the computer lab to let my tutorial students know I wouldn't be tutoring. I had a very relaxing day and got some stuff done. I got enough sleep also, which helped me have an awesome day yesterday.

Today was neat as well: It was the second reading for the transfer of my membership, so I am now officially a member of la Iglesia Adventista del Séptimo Día de Keene or the Keene Spanish SDA Church. I love that church. When they asked for a raising of hands from whomever wanted to accept me into membership, I think the whole church waved their hands. I know that they always do, pretty much, but it was special to me, especially since one friend of mine was at the same time mouthing the words "Bienvenido a tu familia" or something like that.

Sabbath School (Escuela Sabática there) was very interesting, even though it was on a very technical subject. We were talking about Daniel 7, and what the prophecies mean, and how looking at these prophecies and how they have been fulfilled SO clearly should strengthen our faith dramatically. It was great. I was in the youth pastor's class, and he explained things very well.

The sermon was good, too, all about how we should be sure we are saved, not because of our own strength, but because of His strength. We shouldn't feel lost if we commit a sin, but should simply come back to Him. We don't stop being His child when we sin, we just have to fix the problem. It was great. I must admit I had some trouble staying awake, like I did last Sabbath also, because last night I stayed up quite late chatting with friends on MSN Messenger, and then was picked up for church a little after nine this morning.

But the best thing about today happened while I was typing this: my girlfriend called from Mexico, and we were able to talk for a few minutes. She is going to try to call me again (at least I think that's what she said) if she can find another phone card or something. I can only hope, but talking with her was so awesome, even for just a few minutes. She is so precious to me. She is missing me a lot, just like I am missing her. We are trying to find a way that we can see each other before May. We'll see what happens. Maybe she can come visit me here. :D

More news

More big things going on in my life, in different ways. One thing, which is not even my news, is that my ex-fianceé, Sylvia, is getting married this Sunday, to the guy who broke off their previous engagement. She seems very happy, though, and everything seems resolved, so I can only congratulate her and wish her the best. I'm glad we're still friends.

In more personal news, my girlfriend and I seem to grow closer every day, even though we are something like a thousand miles apart. She is perhaps the best woman I have ever met. She is a very spiritual person (which I value highly), but not at all holier-than-thou. I love her, and she certainly loves me. I must find a way to see her before May. That's just too long to wait! She keeps reminding me that this is building our patience, and our characters are the only things we will take with us to heaven, but I still don't want to wait. We've talked once a week on the phone since the day I asked her out, and we've been emailing and have also started chatting on MSN Messenger whenever we get the chance, but it isn't the same. And phone calls are so expensive, even with a phone card. If any of you have advice on a cheaper way to be able to call, I would love to hear it. I wonder if I got a cell phone if I could use the free evenings and weekends for that. Maybe they don't work internationally. I should look into that.

In other news, I am quitting one of my jobs, in exchange for the start of my own business: Cromwell Tutorial Service. Yes, I do take credit cards: Cromwell Tutorial Service has an account registered with PayPal where those credit card deposits can be made. As yet, my advertising is entirely word of mouth, among my friends and the students in my regular tutorial. I have decided to continue holding the writing tutorial I do for the school three nights a week (two hours a night), for several reasons: the tutorial is where I got my reputation for being good at helping students with papers (though I am willing and able to tutor other things, and have previous experience tutoring math and Hebrew, as well as instructing a lab for General Biology), and to keep my reputation strong, I will hold onto it. Also, I really enjoy doing it, and it gives people options. I don't mind it when people come to the regular tutorial, but there are several advantages to paying me to tutor you: my tutorial is available six days a week, not three; rather than waiting in a line which I may not get through for my help, you have my full attention for that hour; and the first visit with me is free, so if you don't like what I'm doing, you don't owe me anything, but if you do, the next time you can pay me. I really feel like it is a win-win situation. I'm currently planning to put up flyers on campus, to send out an email, and I'm looking into making a video ad also. Maybe it would be worthwhile to canvas the high school, etc. as well, or even put an ad in the local newspaper... If you guys have advertising ideas, I'd like to hear them.

I also have a new email address: cromwellt@gmail.com. Please use this address for all future emails to me. I haven't shut down my old one, but I'll be rarely using it in the future. I know I told many of you that I was planning on sticking with Yahoo forever, and I was even more sure of it when they upped their quota to 100 MB, but a friend of mine showed me Gmail (from the people at Google) and invited me to try it. Because it is a beta right now, you can only be a part of it if you are sent an invite, so it is very much like word-of-mouth. There are several things I really love about Gmail, including the 1000 MB quota, the searchable mail, the labels used instead of folders (meaning that one email can show up in more than one category; a great improvement IMO), and (last but not least) the new "conversation" format for emails. This conversation format is awesome: you can look at what you wrote to someone and what they wrote back to you, all on one page, and composing is right there on the same page, too! There are other cool things about Gmail, but this gives you a taste. I don't think I'll ever go back!

Live life intensely and don't stop dreaming!